Parents/grandparents of Autistic kids....don't
presume you can lecture me or my podlings on manners/conversation
skills as my reaction may offend.
And can I just add that countering
my "as an Autistic person" with "but I'm a grandparent" scores you
absolutely no points on the 'how many fucks I give' scoreboard.
But what caused such ill feeling I hear you ask (well type but you get the idea).
Well I was out with the girls on Saturday and they bumped into
someone who used to be at school with them out with their
grannie for the day.
So far so Autism families bonding.
Anyway as they chatted the gran (obviously) was asking who we
were and as she was asking twin one piped
up to say how much she loved anime - we were in Tokyo Toys at the time buying anime stuff so kinda figures - when the old woman
just lost it, telling twin one how rude she was interrupting and she must
never interrupt an adult and how it was the height of bad manners - the
fact that she'd interrupted twin one talking to her granddaughter was by
Anyway, doing my best 'I can interact with NT types shtick, I explained that in a household of 4 Autistic people it's not uncommon that chat over each before pointing out the fact that as a major issue with ASD
is social interaction/conversation, we're really not that strict as long as everyone gets a fair turn at the chat.
"Well I don't allow that!" she replied.
I countered that
with explaining that as the girls were non-verbal till well into primary school (they told us that twin 2 would possibly never speak) that I
actually love to hear their voices.
"That's not as important as
manners." she replied.
So I pointed out that as an Autistic person,
Autistic voices and views being heard was more important to me than
"Oh so you're Autistic?....well I'm not
but I am a grandparent so I know better!"
And with that she waddled off to continue licking piss off a nettle.
The point is that the only person showing bad manners and rudeness in this situation was her, yes I can be the worst person in the world when it comes to conversation rules and etiquette but at least I try.
And I hate to pull it but I have Autism.
What was her excuse?
Advocating for family and friends is brilliant but here's a tip, if an Autistic person has a valid, personal opinion on something (for example on being Autistic), don't - just don't wave you're hand and say we're wrong. Because as much as you may know about Autism and how it impacts on you and your loved ones lives if you're not Autistic you will never know what it's like to be Autistic. So shut up and listen. We have social stories and worksheets that may help if you find it difficult.