Posted this as a thread on 'the Twitter' earlier but thought I'd share it here too. You're welcome. This week Tim Burgess' fantastic online listening party featured Soft Cell's new album Happiness Not Included....As folk who know me can attest, Soft Cell are my favourite band - and Marc Almond is my hero...   Being the awkward autistic artsy teen constantly picked on in school, obsessed with horror films, sci-fi and Warhol, Marc was a lifeline and Soft Cell's dark electropop perfectly encapsulated everything I felt...and everything that terrified me too.... They also seemed to like the same things too (a song about George A Romero? result!) - it was Marc and Dave introduced me to Capote, Scott Walker, neon lighting and electronica among other things and in one way or another have soundtracked the best part of my life   My art school days (and nights) were scored by Mother Fist and Vermine in Ermine....I journeyed out into the big bad world to The Stars We Ar...

Been a wee bit quiet on the Autistic blogging front of late - Christmas, work, school, work, things have gotten in the way a fair bit - plus I've been working on some new content that'll be less ranty and more amusing (hopefully) but couldn't let today pass without saying a big 'thank you' to the NHS staff at Partick Burgh Hall who were absolutely brilliant today when Cassidy (finally) got his Covid vaccination.     Calm, patient and really understanding - they offered so much help and support (if needed) - that it made a potentially stressful situation really easy and stress free! They even put me at ease which is quite a feat in itself! Thanks all!

Just a quick update cos frankly I'm a wee bit to upset/frustrated/shot to put much but after over a year of staying safe and following the rules we're all currently self-isolating due to a Covid scare at school, which kinda seems ironic after everything we've done - and not done - the past 18 months. I'm off work till it's passed as I'm working with a vulnerable group, the kids had to finish up a week early meaning that there was even more upset at them missing saying goodbye to their friends (again). Luckily(?) as far as we can tell/they can tell us the girls seemed to have a really mild case, Cass on the other hand got hit hard but just took himself out to his bed, feel so bad for him tho' seeing as he's not left the house (apart from for school) for over a year - seems so unfair! Ro is doing OK (to be honest she runs the whole house so could be on fire and still be running about looking after folk) but I'm getting all the sensory/stomach stuff I g...

Got my Covid vaccine yesterday (AstraZeneca if you're interested) so thought I'd pop a few things down that may be useful for any other autie/aspie folk who are worried about getting it. You're welcome. Got mine over at the Glasgow Club Donald Dewar, it's big, bright and the staff are fab - which helps if, like me you're feeling a wee bit stressed.     My advice is to take a wee bit of time when you get there to get used to the various (clinical) smells and sounds as it was a fair bit to take in to begin with plus if like me you find it a bit unsettling to talk to folk in masks (as I've said before I usually focus on folks noses which is impossible now) let them know - I did and the Doctor that dealt with me was really accommodating. And no it doesn't hurt at all. Which if like me you hate needles is a bonus.     The after-effects of the vaccine didn't hit me till about 12 hours later and have ranged from a swollen and tender arm to cold sweat shakes but...

Some of you may have read the open letter to The Scottish Government I wrote t'other week regarding the issues facing special needs families during lockdown so thought I'd follow that post up with their reply.                                                                              Isn't it great to feel wanted?

So we're two weeks into 2021 and nothing seems to have changed since the first lockdown last March and I've hit the point where thinking any further ahead than a couple of days is becoming way too stressful. My constant 'Man Who Fell to Earth' multi-screen head is slowly turning into an off-tune B&W portable TV and to be honest that kinda freaks me out a wee bit...even typing it scares me as it's hard to admit that I'm not the massive mountain of strength I should be. Yes I have a few (emphasis on the few) projects to keep me going plus the joys of home schooling should be kicking in but the whole bizarre vague complexity of the situation is just fogging up my brain. The need to logically - and simply - plan out actions and responses seems useless right now as those in power (to a lesser extent up here) seem content to just shuffle about doing nothing. Shoppers are still unable to queue, wear masks or social distance at tills and it feels like I'm scream...

Between my last post/rant and life in general it's been a fairly stressful few weeks not helped by the fact that as soon as a Covid vaccine gets announced the whole "vaccines cause autism" bollocks flares up again on t'internet quickly followed by the news that Glasgow is going to phase 4 lockdown Friday meaning that my Twitter news feed is choc full of "my child can wear a mask/I have no face and manage to wear one so you can too!" posts. And to be honest the sick, twisty feeling in my stomach means I really can't be doing with it. I remember posting previously how the whole Covid situation has made it feel like I was running on emergency battery power with absolutely no purpose or idea as to why or how I was doing anything. As I said then, I usually work from home so I'd gone from having my own space and routines to a houseful of folk all with different needs and routines that (quite rightly) come first. Yes we've been back to school an...

Just a quickie today as there's loads going on (our modem getting repaired for one thing) but thought I'd mention the fact that I popped into Glasgow city centre today for the first time since lockdown started. And in case you're wondering yes, I am wearing a Dave Hill T-Shirt. Look I'm from the Black Country so sue me. Rho and the girls have already ventured into town last week but I've been really nervous so decided to pop in on my own first and visit a (very) few shops I know in order to get back into the whole shopping routine. Plus after hearing a fair few horror stories online regarding exemption passes I thought it'd be easier to argue the point on my own (if needed) than when I had the twin engines of destruction with me! I shouldn't have worried tho' as actually everyone I dealt with was absolutely great. And who were they and what shops did I visit? Well if I tell you please don't judge. As always the staff at Westerton tr...

Not usually grumpy first thing in the morning but noticed a huge upturn in folk self-righteously posting about masks across social media so just wanted to post a wee reminder. Seriously, if you can (And do) wear a face mask that's brilliant, knock yerself out but don't keep saying that if you/your dog/your Nan can do it anyone can. I can't because if I do I have a total autistic sensory meltdown and will end up in a ball in the corner of the shop and I really shouldn't be being made to feel like shit because of this. I tried for two weeks to wear one and if I'm honest the stress vomiting and cold shakes aren't really that pleasant when you're getting set to go out for bread and milk. Or during. The whole point is those that can wear them do it to protect those that can't, not to shame them so they feel (in my case at least) less a 'normal' person than everyone else. To be honest I've had enough of that growing up without n...

After the angry man incident t'other day I've been a wee bit worried about not being able to wear a mask out shopping. Well apart from the autistic one obviously. Well, wore my exemption lanyard whilst out yesterday (yes I know it's kinda embarrassing that the girls can wear masks but I can't - deal with it) and an happy to say that the three shops I went in were great! Phew....Hopefully this is a sign of things to come!

Vaguely amusing incident in Morrison's yesterday that I just had to share. Well didn't actually have to (I mean it's not like someone threatened my dog if I didn't*) but you know what I mean. Anyway, over the last week or so we've been getting the podlings used to idea of wearing face masks when out shopping partly in preparation for it becoming mandatory in shops next week but manly just to see if they can wear them OK. And guess what? Yup, they're fine with them but my massive face phobia has kicked in and I find myself hyperventilating and panicking to a point of passing out. Oh yes, and panic vomiting. Add to that I'm finding it really difficult to focus on/read folks faces (well even more difficult than normal) when everything is hidden. Anyway, I've been doing my best but toward the end of the shopping trip I've got the choice of: A. Taking off the facemask and making it out of the shop on two feet. or B. Collapsing in a sha...

Just a quick post today - obviously it's a wee bit frantic here plus I actually have work to do (no really) but it struck me t'other day how utterly confusing  my feelings are re: the whole lockdown thing. I've posted before about how much of a struggle I'm finding the new norm as opposed to how well the kids are handling it (mostly) so wont repeat that here but what I will say is how contradictory the whole thing feels. On one hand I'm still feeling like I'm slowly sinking into a massive pool of (other people's) emotions, needs and stress whilst desperately trying to find new routines and ways to stay if not sane then at least fairly functioning yet on the other (manicured) hand the fact that I feel I can be much more upfront and 'openly autie' when out has been absolutely liberating. It certainly feels like it. With no extended family or outside help we've been/we are totally self-sufficient - we don't miss or feel we nee...

Noticed I'd been a wee bit serious/ranting/rantingly serious of late (cheers to all who replied!) and looking back I realized I'd totally forgotten to post about how brilliant our local Morrisson's has been during lockdown. After the experience we had with the mad woman shouting at Amelia back in March - which was dealt with brilliantly by George the security man - the shop and staff have been absolutely amazing, from telling us to phone for items we needed during the great food shortage wars to allowing us priority access and generally being lovely (always asking how the kids, and myself, are) we as a family couldn't ask for nicer folk. And it's even more appreciated when you realise the pressure they're under too. It's refreshing to find anyone - not just a shop - that's willing to listen and then actually act - on the advice and needs of the autistic community. Brilliant. Also have to say a big 'thank you' to our local Aldi...

A really quick post about the whole Dominic Cumming/autistic wean thing currently exploding on 'the Twitter'. Sorry if I'm way more ranty than normal but to be honest - which I always am - I'm bloody raging. So according to an anonymous leak, Dominic Cummings son is 'severely' autistic and that's why he had to travel 250 odd miles to his parents house to celebrate his wife's birthday or whatever. Seriously I so saw this excuse coming, a perfect way to shut up critics and to frame him as a caring type. It's the perfect excuse - it's not like we can say "Well he doesn't look autistic" is it?  Which would be OK I guess if he wasn't one of the architects of the whole herd immunity/DNR orders for autistic folk idea who pushes eugenics theory at every opportunity. It's a mazing how, after Cumming's says his child is autistic that everyone and their fucking dog has an opinion. If that's the case at...

Well looks like someone is after my job!

 Just back from Morrison's with Amelia, they are now operating a queue system for getting in and out which is fair enough.  As we're standing waiting a woman stormed up the queue obviously raging at the fact that she wasn't allowed to jump in and angrily shouted "Move out of my way!" at Amelia as she trundled passed. Amelia (having manners) moved out the way as the woman stared blankly at us as she made her way to her car. Amelia was asking why she'd snapped before bursting into tears and loudly crying "was I standing in the way because I'm autistic? does being autistic mean I'm naughty and that's why she was angry?"    Luckily the security guys saw us and the person in front let us in first, by this time the woman had gone. Yes I know you're all stressed and worried, especially when in this woman's case she was obviously only allowed 4 gallons of lard to guzzle as opposed to her usual 18 but just thin...

Well it's been an exciting week in the UK (and the world) hasn't it? Surprisingly our house of Autism appears to be coping pretty well all things considered - the girls are doing OK here, Embeth had a wee wobble yesterday when she realized it was worldwide and that she wont be seeing her friends till who knows when, Amelia is just being a teenager and stropping around shouting (mainly due to frustration at the lack of routine and to be fair I'd do the same if I could get away with it) whilst young Master Cassidy on t'other hand has chocolate and is in his PJ's 24/7 so is happier than a pig in shit. Between all the food scavenging and the like we have tons of school work to keep the podlings occupied till they go back so we're spending this week making sure they have a workable schedule in place and getting it planned out on big calendars. When they're done I can start on mine if I can last that long. Corona advice: wash your hands more often and...

Phew! it's been a busy day on the blogging front....from my rant this morning about shit-heeled shoppers buying up everything in stock regardless of whether they need it to finding out that, as from Friday, all the schools will be shut for the foreseeable future. Well this week is doing wonders for our autistic need for calm, routine and a workable schedule. Seriously tho' we've kinda been expecting this for the last week or so and have been dropping heavy hints to the podlings that this might happen plus we've also had an idea of what things related would upset them the most. In our case it's the fact that the girls were preparing for a trip to London (which coincided with their birthday) so to say they're a wee bit unhappy is an understatement, but as I mentioned we'd expected this so have been gently hinting that this might be the case. Cos that's what parents do. Our school it has to be said has been really well organised,...

 WARNING! - This post contains maximum ranting. Well as the world goes to (retail) Hell in a hand basket due to that pesky Corona virus and everything grinds to a halt I thought I'd put my tuppence worth in on the current trend of 'panic' buying and stockpiling that seems to have overtaken casual racism, football and Love Island as the nation's post-Brexit hobby of choice. Apologies in advance cos this may get a wee bit ranty (surprise?) but the whole thing has gotten to a point where I feel like screaming. And here is as good a place as any. A mentalist yesterday. Now shopping at the best of times can be stressful, the noise, the bustle, the mad folk pushing their trolleys into you as groups of (older) men - who've obviously never shopped alone before - gaze angrily at the shelves in the vague hope that the items they need will miraculously appear in front of them all add up to what can be a pretty awful experience all round whether you be ...