Can You See Me?

One of the things said about us Autistic folk (and a thing that is highly contentious and not at all true) is that we lack empathy.

Some people disagree saying that we maybe have too much and have problems processing it but who knows?

Then there's the whole 'double empathy' thing which is way too much to explain here.

I feel that - personally - I have 'sympathy' rather than 'empathy' meaning that to truly be affected by something I need to have a personal 'hook' to identify with.

For example if someone has a pet that's died I can see that they're upset but can't relate to the emotions as I've never had a dead pet.

Sure I can pat them on the back and make sympathetic noises but that's as far as it goes.

I can't relate it to anything I've experienced as that would be different.

And why am I telling you this?

Well a few years back I was commissioned thru' Glasgow Open Museums to create an arts instillation exploring the lives of refugees in the city and at a homeless conference where we launched a version of it another (albeit famous) artist announced during her talk that the most important thing when working successfully with a group was to have empathy with them.

This kinda bugged me as I felt that it somehow invalidated not only the work I do but me as a person.

Tho' saying that her empathy didn't stretch to standing and listening to me talk about our project so maybe it was all lies.

Or bad manners.

Artists eh?

Anyway I've recently finished up a new commission entitled Can You See Me? - A portrait project featuring clients and staff of the Glasgow City Mission partially inspired by the groups reaction to Alasdair Gray's portrait of Frances Gordon who was working as a temporary typist for Glasgow museums in 1977. Unlike traditional portrait projects tho' there are no faces, no representation of the person beyond the images showing their interests.

Portrait of Frances Gordon. (c) Alasdair Gray, courtesy of
Glasgow Museums collections.

I was given a list of five things they enjoyed/were important to them and had to figure out how it all fitted together as a coherent piece.

The idea being that traditional portraits are label forming and labels can have negative connotations.

Which is a conversation for another time.

As I completed the pieces I'd take them in to show the folk involved to gauge their reactions and was amazed when one of the group, upon seeing the piece based on them, started to get quite tearful and thanked me for seeing them not only in such a positive way but as a 'real' person.

Being me I just shuffled in my seat and mumbled a thank you but it got me thinking, at no point had I tried to empathize with the group or understand anyone's situation (or heaven forbid 'put myself in their shoes - they may not fit or be a style I like) all I'd done was try to capture a really interesting, funny and genuinely nice person I'd spent time talking to the best way I could.

And yes I can be uncomfortable, annoying and downright difficult to interact with at certain points but I feel lucky enough that sometimes, just sometimes, I can connect with people on a really deep level just by doing something I'm pretty good at.

You see it's not about empathizing or even sympathizing, it's actually all about being interested.

Probably.

I mean what do I know? I scribble for a living.