Hashtag haze.
Anyone who uses Twitter - or social media in general will be aware a hashtag is a type of metadata tag that allows users to apply user-generated tagging which makes it possible for others to easily find messages with a specific theme or content.
For example:
"I like trains, how can I find train stuff on Twitter? I know I'll type #ILikeTrains and see what happens....."
Cue hours of fun, hilarity and sometimes annoyance as you end up wasting hours reading random stuff.
On a more serious note it's really effective shorthand for more serious/personal threads.
The #MeToo movement is a great example of this.
Unfortunately it can also be used to undermine and re-centre conversations that some groups may be uncomfortable with.
And this unfortunately seems to be the case at the moment with the#ActualAutismParent hashtag.
Very recently there's been a huge upsurge in visibility of the Autism community online as we/they become more vocal regarding issues pertaining to us, from ABA to interview techniques to stuff we enjoy and rallying against puppets, the #actuallyautistic community is at once funny, serious and sobering but all united by our frankly fantastic - and sometimes frustrating neuro-diversity.
And scarily this seems to have become a bit of a problem for certain groups which in some cases appears to be parents of Autistic kids which has manifested itself in the aforementioned #ActualAutismParent hashtag.
Now before anyone jumps on me (in a virtual way that is) I'm not targeting every parent (or grandparent) here as we all know that there are good uns n' bad uns in every group, personally I've met non-Autistic parents (or grandparents) who are a pain in the arse but likewise I've met some who are absolutely lovely and without whom I'd be much less confident as not only a parent of Autistic kids but as an Autistic person in general (you know who you are) and for that I'm forever grateful but - as is the way with such things - the most vocal users of this hashtag appear to imply that somehow Autism - and by default an autistic child is in someway a burden or cross to be carried for all to see, in some cases dragging the old "Autism stole my child" trope back from the depths where it should really have been left.
And whereas the #actuallyautistic tag is used to celebrate - and in some ways validate our existence, the appears to want to not only drown out our voices (because how dare we challenge a non-Autistic view of Autism?) but also take Autism back to being something to be feared and pitied.
Here's just one example:
I'm not dissing what he has to say, I'm not wanting to argue he's wrong because I get it, my twin daughters didn't speak till they were 6, my son (12) has limited vocabulary and social skills and it can be bloody hard work.
And yes they are Autistic too.
As am I but to not like Autism would be to not like ourselves and it's intrinsically part of who we are/how we are and I would never change it.
Ever.
I understand that parenting an Autistic child can be hard - as can parenting in general and some folk cope better than others but to equate Autism with somehow not being 'normal' is quite honestly offensive to those of us who are.
Not convinced?
Well replace Autism with being gay, or Jewish, or female or Muslim and see if you'd still be happy posting that.
The really confusing thing tho' (outside trying to work out Doctor Who continuity anyway) s the fact that although this person really doesn't like Autism, he actually has the word in his username.
Did I say confusing?
I mean worrying.
Worrying that someone feels the need to not only make their child’s disability their (online) identity but then to systematically demonize that disability isn't healthy for anyone.
I mean my parents aren't Autistic but you don't see me referring to myself as a ‘child of neurotypicals’ do you?
Because that would be silly.
And a wee bit mad.
Plus let's be honest, as a hashtag it's kinda insulting and nonsensical, you're not actually the parent of Autism, you're the parent of an Autistic child.
But that's not the point is it?
As I said, it's there to drown us out, the whole "You don't speak for my non-verbal child, you're high functioning" writ large.
And to those parents who think that?
You're right, I don't speak for your child not then or now.
But if you ever wanted me to stand with them, I'd be there in a shot.
Because communities like ours look out for each other.
For example:
"I like trains, how can I find train stuff on Twitter? I know I'll type #ILikeTrains and see what happens....."
Cue hours of fun, hilarity and sometimes annoyance as you end up wasting hours reading random stuff.
On a more serious note it's really effective shorthand for more serious/personal threads.
The #MeToo movement is a great example of this.
Unfortunately it can also be used to undermine and re-centre conversations that some groups may be uncomfortable with.
And this unfortunately seems to be the case at the moment with the
Very recently there's been a huge upsurge in visibility of the Autism community online as we/they become more vocal regarding issues pertaining to us, from ABA to interview techniques to stuff we enjoy and rallying against puppets, the #actuallyautistic community is at once funny, serious and sobering but all united by our frankly fantastic - and sometimes frustrating neuro-diversity.
And scarily this seems to have become a bit of a problem for certain groups which in some cases appears to be parents of Autistic kids which has manifested itself in the aforementioned #ActualAutismParent hashtag.
Now before anyone jumps on me (in a virtual way that is) I'm not targeting every parent (or grandparent) here as we all know that there are good uns n' bad uns in every group, personally I've met non-Autistic parents (or grandparents) who are a pain in the arse but likewise I've met some who are absolutely lovely and without whom I'd be much less confident as not only a parent of Autistic kids but as an Autistic person in general (you know who you are) and for that I'm forever grateful but - as is the way with such things - the most vocal users of this hashtag appear to imply that somehow Autism - and by default an autistic child is in someway a burden or cross to be carried for all to see, in some cases dragging the old "Autism stole my child" trope back from the depths where it should really have been left.
And whereas the #actuallyautistic tag is used to celebrate - and in some ways validate our existence, the appears to want to not only drown out our voices (because how dare we challenge a non-Autistic view of Autism?) but also take Autism back to being something to be feared and pitied.
Here's just one example:
I'm not dissing what he has to say, I'm not wanting to argue he's wrong because I get it, my twin daughters didn't speak till they were 6, my son (12) has limited vocabulary and social skills and it can be bloody hard work.
And yes they are Autistic too.
As am I but to not like Autism would be to not like ourselves and it's intrinsically part of who we are/how we are and I would never change it.
Ever.
I understand that parenting an Autistic child can be hard - as can parenting in general and some folk cope better than others but to equate Autism with somehow not being 'normal' is quite honestly offensive to those of us who are.
Not convinced?
Well replace Autism with being gay, or Jewish, or female or Muslim and see if you'd still be happy posting that.
The really confusing thing tho' (outside trying to work out Doctor Who continuity anyway) s the fact that although this person really doesn't like Autism, he actually has the word in his username.
Did I say confusing?
I mean worrying.
Worrying that someone feels the need to not only make their child’s disability their (online) identity but then to systematically demonize that disability isn't healthy for anyone.
I mean my parents aren't Autistic but you don't see me referring to myself as a ‘child of neurotypicals’ do you?
Because that would be silly.
And a wee bit mad.
Plus let's be honest, as a hashtag it's kinda insulting and nonsensical, you're not actually the parent of Autism, you're the parent of an Autistic child.
But that's not the point is it?
As I said, it's there to drown us out, the whole "You don't speak for my non-verbal child, you're high functioning" writ large.
And to those parents who think that?
You're right, I don't speak for your child not then or now.
But if you ever wanted me to stand with them, I'd be there in a shot.
Because communities like ours look out for each other.
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