Autism Acceptance Week 2024: Say What?

 

Beware!

It's that pesky preachy/semi-serious final Autism Acceptance Week post incoming that I have to do a variation of every year but only when I've lulled you to a point of comfortableness!

Yes, I'm sneaky. 

But then again I have to be seeing as being an Autistic parent (of Autistic kids) with hands-on experience of working with vulnerable groups, running projects, setting up charities and the like (I don't just draw the wee pictures you know) I appear to be public enemy number one at times like this.

 

It's a running joke I have whenever I get asked to be involved in any kind of Autism-based project, from research type things to hands on stuff the folk in charge always say "Oh it's brilliant to actually have someone Autistic involved!"

To which I always reply "You say that now but give it a fortnight and you'll be trying your best to get rid of me!"

And why? you might ask.

Well it seems to be that an Autistic adult with experience, knowledge and ideas is actually the totally wrong type of Autistic to listen to/work with/consult because maybe, just maybe we may contradict you or question your beliefs.

And we can't have that can we?

I mean God forbid you might learn something.

Seriously, try it tho' it's actually not that scary - I mean I learn new stuff every day, it's great.

Just ask some of the actually Autistic projects I've been involved in where everyone is treated equally and with respect, it's just amazing and some of the best work/projects I've done.

Which is probably why - even if not working with them again - we stay in touch.

No. F*ck off.

 

The different approaches/attitudes to Autism (both online and in the 'real-life') really come to a head in April tho' (because let's be honest most folk don't give a damn the rest of the year) when we're hit with a barrage of overzealous, brightly coloured kiddie-based stuff mixed in with those occasionally clumsy comment/post about the hardships of having an Autistic person in the house and how Autism parents are literally martyrs to the cause fighting a never ending battle against this evil condition whilst the experts sit back and nod in agreement.

I mean have you seen some of the T-shirts that come out of storage during Autism Awareness/Acceptance Week/Month?

This is one of my (rather splendid and subtle) T-Shirts....great for meetings/shopping etc I think you'll agree.

But from a non-Autistic side we're eyeball-assaulted by stuff like the designs shown below.

It's almost like they're trying to blind us with mismatched colours and fonts. 

And I'm sure psychological torture was banned under the Geneva Convention.

Or at the very least under the rules of fashion.

 

Hmmm....controversial. For the rebel in the family, or the uneducated - you choose.

Alternatively we could punch anyone wearing this in the face instead?

Says the dragon holding the multi-coloured puzzle piece. Plus I'm pretty sure that's not how Google works.

No, It's definitely spelled Autism. Try again.

Alexa....define 'sensory overload' without saying 'sensory overload'.

So....just a dad then? Unless you literally parent Autism. Which you don't.

As above, only lady based. Plus that's an elephant not a child and as far as I can tell elephants aren't Autistic. Or parented by humans.

As opposed to loving them with your heart and soul?

Now this is just silly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's why I decided to design this one for myself to wear when out with Rho. 

I'm sure she'll appreciate the message.

 

 

 

But on a more serious note, this may come as a surprise to you but actually being Autistic means stuff like this can blindside you and hit hard at times.

When I read how Autism can break up marriages, destroy friendships, cause mental health issues and generally make folks lives hell I can't help but feel If not me personally then my 'condition' is at least is responsible in some way and that this must be what I do to other people.

Do I have so few friends because I'm too stressful to be around and it's just too much hard work?

Am I causing untold damage to my wife by just being who I am?

Am I somehow a burden to those close to me, only giving joy in tiny amounts when I achieve something that others take for granted?

Obviously not cos that is utter bollocks.

But it still makes you question yourself when - by accident or design - the default setting seems to be Autism=bad.

Maybe I over-compensate or maybe it's just that I don't feel the disconnect from Autism so I don't spend time trying to come to terms with it but what I do know is that whenever myself or my podlings have ever had a meltdown it's not Autism  that's responsible - it's the lack of support or understanding in the outside world.

Whenever I get frustrated or annoyed that I'm not being heard or understood I know that it's not my fault, it's the person I'm talking to not having a brain that works exactly like mine.

And the fact that you might not be interested in the contradictions and mistakes in Doctor Who continuity?

Totally your fault.

You see, if a parent/carer/professional wants to blame Autism for everything (even when just venting) then by rights I can blame everything on people who aren't Autistic.

So do I have so few friends because I'm too stressful to be around and it's just too much hard work or is it because NT folk aren't complex enough to be interesting?

See?

Not cool is it? 

 

 

Now, both sides might think they're right* but it's not actually gonna get us anywhere is it?

And before anyone pipes in with a 'But you're 'high functioning'! (gah) My child can't speak!" in a vain effort to win at some bizarre victim-based game of Autistic Top Trumps, can I just say (and I've said it before) I understand your frustrations and I get it -  my twin daughters didn't speak till they were 6 and Cassidy (17) has limited vocabulary, (very) limited social skills and needs constant 1:1 support so yes I know it can be bloody hard work.

I'm 54 and still have trouble with shoelaces and can't navigate big cities, a few years back I ended up crying on a London Underground worker because there were too many words on the sign and it jumbled into a mess meaning I couldn't find out where I was.

It actually took singing the Underground Ernie theme to figure out my route.

But yep, I'm absolutely fine.

As I said in a previous post (what can I say, I like repetition - sue me) I understand that parenting an Autistic child can be hard - as can parenting in general and some folk cope better than others but to equate Autism with everything that can and is wrong is quite honestly offensive to those of us who actually are Autistic.

And before everyone starts shouting "But we need folk to be aware of Autism and what it's like!" can I just say that in all honesty if folk aren't aware by now then that's their problem.

Me? I've got awareness spilling out of my shoes.

What we need now is acceptance.....we've even put it in the hashtag to be helpful.

And we need it from everybody.

Including you at home. 

 

And also from so called Autistic-friendly work environments.

And this is exactly how these scenarios play out. Fact.

*Actually only one of us is right, and that's me.