Liberation Blues.

Just a quick post today - obviously it's a wee bit frantic here plus I actually have work to do (no really) but it struck me t'other day how utterly confusing  my feelings are re: the whole lockdown thing.

I've posted before about how much of a struggle I'm finding the new norm as opposed to how well the kids are handling it (mostly) so wont repeat that here but what I will say is how contradictory the whole thing feels.

On one hand I'm still feeling like I'm slowly sinking into a massive pool of (other people's) emotions, needs and stress whilst desperately trying to find new routines and ways to stay if not sane then at least fairly functioning yet on the other (manicured) hand the fact that I feel I can be much more upfront and 'openly autie' when out has been absolutely liberating.

It certainly feels like it.

With no extended family or outside help we've been/we are totally self-sufficient - we don't miss or feel we need support because to be honest we've never had it, whether it's because having 3 kids on the spectrum is scary for folk or because I can be a bit odd/full on if you don't know me or just because folk think we're brilliant and can do it alone we appear to have fallen thru' the social work/support trap.

Suddenly tho' places like Morrison's and Aldi (for example) are being genuinely open to changes that can be made to make life a wee bit easier for families like ours.

Seriously since lockdown I can't think of any other time I've been able to openly discuss our autie-ness and have folk actually appear interested, their are even a few autie/aspie staff members that we openly chat about how we're (both) doing too.

Hopefully this will continue indefinitely cos to be honest I'm kinda enjoying the openess.

Oh and the Doctor Who tweetalongs obviously.