Stim City.

For absolutely no reason whatsoever a short thread re: stims in public just to show how aware people actually are.

You may think you know why I'm posting this right now but I couldn't possibly comment.

And the secret word of the day is...

 

 

Cassidy - our youngest - has very limited speech and usually communicates thru single words and (very) loud shouty noises.

 

There are happy noises, frustrated noises, funny noises, the whole spectrum of noises for every emotion or situation and we as his parents have learned this because why wouldn't you learn the language of someone you care about and want to communicate with?

 

Being out with him (especially shopping) is very interesting - folk will clear the aisle when he goes past, tutting and staring as they go.

 

If Cass gets stressed or upset he has a tendency to grab your arms and shake you - there's no malice (and he doesn't do it to strangers) it's just pure frustration.

 

It could be something as major as a delayed train or as minor (to us) as an item not scanning at the self service but either way it's how he deals with it.

 

An example of how extreme it can be is when one day Cass and myself missed the train to college, he sat calmly as I explained it was a 25 minute wait till the next one until without warning and as soon as the next train (not ours) pulled in he had me pushed over on my arse and had jumped on it with me in hot pursuit, grappling to get hold of him as he writhed, kicked, punched and screamed at the top of his voice.

 

Be aware Cass is a good 2 inches taller than me and much louder. 

 

Anyway I managed to lock my hands through his rucksack straps and literally lift him off at the next stop and all whilst the packed carriage just looked on.

 

Seriously I was surprised I wasn't on X (formerly Twitter) that night as the evil man bullying a disabled boy)  

 

Yup, Folk stare and mutter under their breath but never ask about it or see if you need help.

 

Because it's way easier to judge or take the piss with your friends later than to ask questions, educate themselves or just try to understand.

 

To be fair tho' the snidey looks are infinitely preferable to what happened the other month when Ro, Embeth and Cass were coming home from a museum visit on the train.

 

Both Cass and Em were both overwhelmed at the same time (unusual but it happens) - Em got grumpy and dramatic whilst Cass got loud and grabby.

 

Obviously Ro was dealing with it as she's used to it.

 

But that didn't stop a middle aged man storming over and threaten to 'punch fuck' out of Cassidy.

 

And them act offended and hurt when Ro (politely) declined his offer. 

 

Random members of the public threatening violence on disabled people because they don't understand their disability?

 

Nah that'd never happen. 

 

And this is after nearly 70 years of Autism being an official disability according to the NHS.

 

Not the actual hospital mentioned.

Talking of NHS (a seamless segue there, you're welcome) you'd assume that of all the places you could visit that hospitals would probably be fairly Autistic friendly wouldn't you?

 

Well let's flashback to around 18 months ago when I had to attend an appointment at our local (flagship) hospital.

 

A wee bit of background as to why, you see my main stims (outside the sensory ones) are usually my legs and - on occasion my hands/fingers.

 

Growing up in the 70s/80s where "Quiet hands please!" was a thing at school means I literally buried my stimming below waist height to avoid getting told off.

 

As an aside (which may surprise folk) I vocal stim too (echolalia is my friend) but that's usually confined to the house with folk I know (ask Ro when you see her - myself and the kids are well known for repeating scripts at/to each other) but this appointment was related to my leg stim, you see if I get stressed/over-tired etc. my (leg) stims can become quite violent and on this occasion - as I've done before - I'd managed to pull the muscles in my leg to a point where I had difficulty walking a few steps before having to clutch onto something for fear of falling over.

 

Yes it was that bad. 

 

My doctor (bless) was genuinely concerned that it was a blood clot (which was nice) so immediately phoned and got me an emergency appointment at the hosital that very day and hurriedly sent me along.

 

Only expecting to go to the doctors, get a prescription and come home this whole situation threw me for six and I quickly phoned home to explain everything, give Ro the worse case scenario (I might be in overnight) and ask her what to do.*

 

Yes, being Autistic - no matter how "high-functioning" people describe you as can be that debilitating that you can't focus to make even simple decisions because the fact that you have to keep breathing/not melt down in public takes priority.

 

Anyway I made it to the hospital (there was a straight through bus) and upon arrival was met by a huge multi-coloured building that could only have been designed by Philip LeMarchand during his Crayola period.

 

I felt seriously out of my depth and had absolutely no idea where to go or what to do.

 

Luckily I had an Autism lanyard to hand so popped it on, approached the desk and explained the situation (Autistic, not expecting to be here, suspected blood clot, massive routing change, sense of direction/reading skills compromised...you get the gist) in the hope that someone would help me get to where I needed to go.

 

And the response to my distressed plea for help.

 

"The hospital is sign-posted, head that way". 

 

4 wrong turns and a threat of going through an alarmed door to get some (any) help finally resulted in my being - begrudgingly - taken to the waiting area where after a (very) short wait - I think they wanted rid of me - I was taken into a room for surprise blood tests and the like.

 

"You might feel a small prick, oh and a wee bit of pain when I inject you!"

 

It was then I asked (politely) if I could take 5 minutes or so to get acclimatized explaining the situation (change of routine, new place, strange environment, smells etc plus surprise needles etc.) only to be told yes I could but only if wanted to explain to the other patients why they'd be delayed.

 

Which was nice. 

 

So blood tests taken I got to see a consultant to whom I explained what I thought was wrong, he tutted and said it was unlikely and with that sent me back to wait on my results.

 

After an hour or so I was taken into a room where (another) consultant explained that no, it wasn't a blood clot but a very bad pulled muscle and proceeded to ask if I'd gotten it playing football(!) or something and with that I explained (again) that it was due to an Autistic stim I had.

 

"Stimming? What's that?" he asked.

Slightly surprised I started on the whole explanation about stimming (or self-stimulating behavior as none of us call it) being the use of repetitive movements, sounds or actions - anything from hand-flapping, rocking, Staring at lights, spinning objects, Humming or repeating words/phrases etc - to regulate emotions, manage sensory input, reduce anxiety and prevent sensory overload.

 

He looked at me completely baffled and paused for a minute before asking in all seriousness "Well could you just not do it then if it can cause you injury?"

 

I really don't think I need to say anything else do I?

 

 

 

 

 

*I must add that the girls reaction to the news was peak Autism. Embeth started crying because she was worried I was going to die whilst Amelia was raging because Friday night was McDonald's night and she was convinced she wouldn't get any.

 

Cassidy on the other hand just sat on his computer occasionally saying "Dad?" before going back to his important task.