On The Move....

 

Been a wee bit quiet on the whole house moving front at the moment, partly due to having absolutely no idea what's going on but mainly due to the fact that there's probably going to be pretty harsh legal consequences to how it's been dealt with by the housing officer so reckoned it was best to keep quiet and make notes in the meantime.

However all that seems to have changed a few weeks back when we received a phone call to tell us that the housing officer had left their job suddenly for a new one (who knew there was a huge job market for sociopaths?) and that we needed to get a meeting regarding the house move as she'd not done the job handover or put anything in place.

Obviously we then kinda assumed that we wouldn't be getting the keys on 1st April as promised and wouldn't be able to start moving stuff.

But as a plus point we now don't have to deal with what was probably the most vindictive, manipulative and downright rude person I have ever encountered again.

So swings and roundabouts really.

And for those with no idea what's going on - or for those who've missed it - here's the story so far...

Feel free to comment just in case it turns out that her behavior was in fact quite reasonable at it's me that's read it wrong. 

As regular readers - and those that know us well - may be aware we've been waiting on house repairs for around 6 years now, what started as a small leak just before lockdown (!) turned into a huge leak which left us without a flushing toilet for a year (which was finally fixed at least) and a drop in water pressure which meant that we can't use the washing machine or shower.

About 4 years after the original repair report - and after being contacted by our local MP housing did in fact attempt a repair (that's when they fitted a new toilet) but surprisingly the plumber they sent out had 'forgotten' that the main water supply was behind the washing machine and because no one had told us to move it couldn't actually do anything apart from tear out some kitchen panels,  smash a hole in the bathroom wall and nail a big bit of wood to the kitchen floor with a promise of coming back at some point to finish (start?) the job.

Now Scotland, as you may gather, isn't the warmest place on earth so you can imagine how having a huge hole in your house may make it a wee bit difficult to keep warm.

Luckily we like wearing jumpers and Cassidy is just that bit too big to get stuck between the walls so we carried on as well as we could in the naive  hope that somebody (anybody?) would turn up and fix it.

*Spoiler Alert* That never happened. 

Flash forward 2 years when a new housing officer appeared at our door for a 'surprise' visit in the street - as is usual for a new one, so I invited her in to explain the situation and was very surprised when there and then she decided to make it her mission to get it sorted.

We explained our situation (3 Autistic children 1 Autistic adult, no support allocated thru Social Work etc and it only being the 2 of us, the need for a moving/repair schedule, especially for our youngest who has high support needs, has limited language and can be a flight risk) - we weren't being awkward or difficult but just want things to move smoothly for our kids - and myself.

Now the housing officers reaction to us asking for this was pretty surprising as rather than say "Yes that sounds reasonable!" she decided to open with the threat of a forced entry court order if we didn't do exactly what she'd decided.

This, by the way, was to move out within 7 days (no idea where to as she'd not thought of that) whilst boxing all our belongings, taking the girls to and from college, looking after Cass as well as normal stuff like laundry, shopping etc.

When we (politely) pointed out that this was in fact impossible she angrily shouted that she'd get us kicked out because the mold in the bathroom might kill us and it'd be her fault.

Or something.

We pointed out that it hadn't killed us yet and we'd really just like an action plan in place that would take the kids needs into consideration.

She (again) threatened legal action and stomped off. 

We had a vain hope that she'd gone back to the office to think about it and maybe realise she'd been a wee bit harsh - she might have had a bad day, who knows? I'll give most people the benefit of the doubt - and that she'd come back a few days later with some options.

As an aside most if not all of you are aware that Cassidy is what is referred to as a "flight risk" - he has no sense of danger and is incredibly impulsive, so to this end we have locks on the front door and living room door (which leads to the kitchen) that we use at night to stop him trying to cook/accidentally set fire to the house/run away etc.

Remember this as it may be important. 

Roll on the following Monday, Ro is at home with Cass and I'm in town to pick up the girls when I get a phone call from home, it appears that the housing officer - in a fit of misguided caring (yeah right) or maybe just bloody minded bullying has decided that the real reason for the locks isn't for safety reasons but because we're involved in child imprisonment so has decided to report us to the police.

Oh and just to finish off she's contacted Social Work because she has 'concerns' over Cassidy's (Autistic) behavior and feels that he has mental health issues.

Obviously when confronted she denied any of this even when I told her that the police/Social Work told us that it was her that called.

But I'm jumping ahead.

The police turned up at the house unannounced (obviously) which meant Ro thought me and the girls had been in an accident only to be told that they'd had reports of a child being locked up and were here to check.

Luckily one of the officers actually had an Autistic child (who even luckier was also a flight risk) and not only understood right away that he wasn't in any danger but after chatting with Ro told us that she had also dealt with housing re: moving for repairs - informing us that in certain cases these can be carried out without the child/children having to move out and that the way we'd been treated contravened the disability rights act and seemed a wee bit annoyed at the housing officer.

As soon as they'd gone she had a call from Social Work which we had to admit was pretty impressive seeing as we've been waiting 4 years for them to get back to us regarding assisted travel but heyho, who basically said "Aye, we have his file here and we've never had any issues flagged, we'll ring you back tomorrow!"

And so we waited for the callback hoping it'd be in the afternoon seeing as my hospital treatment is on Tuesday - and Thursday - mornings and Ro knows how much I love chatting to Social Work.

It's a hobby I guess.

Plus there was no way she'd pull anything else in under 24 hours was there?
 

"Do as you're told or I'm taking your weans!"

 

 Anyway Tuesday comes around and I stumble in from the hospital (I get sore, I'm an old man so sue me) to find that the housing officer has turned up again - as an(other) aside we'd asked (nicely) if she could call first as having random folk turn up unannounced really freaks out Cassidy and if I'm honest it freaks the fuck out of me too - and this time she turned up with a hotel booking.

For a month.

Starting the next day.

It seemed in her infinite wisdom she'd decided to book myself, Cassidy, Ro and Embeth into a hotel for the entire of March.

But not Amelia obviously, she could stay at home.

Her reasoning being that we could visit the hotel one one day which obviously would mean the kids would be fine with it then we could take the girls to college (from the hotel), come back to the house and pack - or something, then go pick the girls up (and go back to the hotel) and then, well I'm actually not sure what the logic behind her decision was and why she'd missed a child off the booking even though we'd told her it wouldn't be suitable for a variety of reasons including:

Cass can escape from hotels (I spent a week in Spain with him, trust me I know).

The girls - and Cass - wouldn't be able to eat.

We'd be in rooms with them at night which means that in Cass's new routine would then be sleeping in with me as opposed  to his own bed - an issue we had when we first moved.

and a few more.

Obviously we had to list these because when we'd mentioned previously that a hotel was totally unsuitable she'd decided we were lying just to be awkward and if she just booked it she'd be able to bully us into submission. 

So we did what any normal person would do and left her a message to call us back whilst Ro went out shopping with the girls and I sat in with Cass to await the Social Work follow up.

Which was interesting to say the least.

 

"Beg me...."

 

You see, it seemed that when they checked, it turned out that it was indeed the housing officer who had raised the concerns with them and it appeared that when she didn't get the answer she wanted had then escalated it to the police and had been back in touch with them that very day to see - as Social Work put it - if they could 'persuade' us to follow her personal timetable/rules. 

Luckily for us Social Work agreed with me that her behavior so far was in breach of not just the Equality Act but also the Disability Rights Act and that if she continued on this path there could be serious legal ramifications and would point this out to her next time they spoke.

 Obviously they hadn't had the opportunity to do this before she rang back about the hotel, insisting to Ro that I'd said it was OK (another lie) and arguing that it was already paid for and couldn't be reimbursed (yet more lies, we actually had the booking info infront of us stating that you could cancel the booking before noon on the day) which meant she was only left with her favourite threat of forced entry and court orders adding that she was 'bending over backwards' and no housing officer would do more to accommodate us before putting the phone down.

It appears that the words accommodate and bullying are interchangeable in housing circles.

This is pure conjecture on my part but it seemed that Social Work may have been in touch with her between this and the next call as suddenly her demeanor totally changed as she pointed out that actually we didn't need to move out at all if it was too much for Cassidy and the work could be done with us there, which was quite a change in attitude, obviously tho' she still wasn't forthcoming with any timetable or plan and flatly refused to give us the contact details of her immediate superior or plan a meeting where we could finalize the job to everyone's best interests.

Or so we thought.

The following Thursday (yes hospital treatment day) I got a phone call from Ro say that the housing officer was coming around for (yet another) meeting and this time she was bringing a Social Worker with her.

Yup, the same social work department that up until now have had absolutely no interest in us or any of our kids support needs.

Weird eh?

I'll be honest, this was the final straw for me, remember this had all occurred  over 6 days and the emotional effect of this meant that as soon as Ro told me about the meeting I could feel a dreaded Autistic meltdown coming on.

And for me as an adult to feel like this things must have been pretty fucking intense.

I don't mind admitting I sat (well slouched) and cried, the thought of dealing with more bullying and accusations had finished me and any strength I had left was spent.

Thinking about it I'm still not sure what the most demeaning part of this was tho'.

The having to admit to 2 strangers (in a meeting)  that their entire handling of the situation had led to this or the fact that neither of them seemed to understand or care, with the Social Worker even going as far as telling me to calm down.

Fucking brilliant.

And they say we don't have empathy.

The icing on the cake was the fact that the housing officer - after everything she'd put us thru', turning round and saying she was 'hurt and angry' by the fact that I'd presumed she had no experience of 'people with Autism'.

To be honest (again) if this is true and this is the way she treats them then I think the police were called to the wrong person.

There's still time tho'.

If you're a housing officer or a social worker tell them to calm down and make it all about you obviously.

 

It soon became apparent that the Social Worker had no idea why he was here (his story changed about 3 times during the visit - c'mon guys we have really good memories, at least be consistent - and, realising that bringing (another) person into the mix wasn't the intimidation tactic she thought it would be - plus possibly at this point it finally hitting how out of her depth she was - the housing officer suddenly changed tack, would it be easier to just do a permanent move? (we'd been suggesting this already), would it be useful if they hired us a skip to aid clearing the house? (we'd asked for this on numerous occasions) and as an apology for the stress we've been under and because the repairs had been forgotten would it be easier for them to supply new furnishings etc?

*Translation: Please don't take us to court*

 Well things seemed to settle after that - yes she'd still turn up unannounced but mostly when I wasn't in, I have that effect on people - and we did (after prodding from the repair team - finally get to see the new house with the promise of it all being reading for us to start moving boxes/decorating and the furnishing ordered by the 1st April.

 

"Just phone to say you're OK - Actually don't bother, we're good!"

 

And now we're bang up to date, as mentioned earlier (go on, go back and check)  we got a call from housing saying that the housing officer in question has suddenly left for a new job and not done any of the handover required seemingly leaving everyone - us included - in the lurch.

I'm kinda thinking that the vetting/interview process for these posts really needs to be tightened up.

Unless the main quality they look for is a lack of empathy, almost sociopathic bullying skills and the general demeanor of a tinpot dictator obviously.

Actually I might apply.

So we currently have a new housing officer - who to be fair has been great so far - and things seemed to be moving forward, the move was indeed happening.

Except now it's not.

It appears that we're just moving temporarily after all.

But then again it might be permanent.

We - and they - don't know.

And wont till we've moved.

Or something. 

At least my Psoriasis is getting better.

Wish us luck.