The Full Story

Been getting a fair few responses to the whole housing debacle of late so thought I'd post an as in-depth as possible version of the situation in one handy place save people having to read multiple posts (which they still can if they want).

So buckle up and here we go:


We've been waiting on house repairs for around 6 years now, what started as a small leak just before lock down turned into a huge leak which left us without a flushing toilet for a year (which was finally fixed at least) and a drop in water pressure which meant that we can't use the washing machine or shower.

About 4 years after the original repair report - and after being contacted by our local MP housing did in fact attempt a repair (that's when they fitted a new toilet) but the plumber they sent out hadn't realised that the main water supply was behind the washing machine and because no one had told us to move it couldn't actually do anything apart from tear out some kitchen panels, smash a hole in the bathroom wall and nail a big bit of wood to the kitchen floor with a promise of coming back at some point to finish the job.

This never happened. 

Flash forward 2 years to this February when a new housing officer came for a visit in the street - I explained the situation and was very surprised when there and then she decided to make it her mission to get it sorted.

We explained our situation (3 Autistic children 1 Autistic adult, no support allocated etc and it only being the 2 of us, the need for a moving/repair schedule, especially for our youngest who has high support needs and has limited language and is what is referred to as a "flight risk" - he has no sense of danger and is incredibly impulsive, so to this end we have locks on the front door and living room door (which leads to the kitchen) that we use at night to stop him trying to cook/accidentally set fire to the house/run away etc.
Remember this as it may be important. 

We weren't being awkward or difficult but just want things to move smoothly for our kids - and myself.

Now the housing officers reaction to us asking for this rather than say "Yes that sounds reasonable!" was to open with the threat of a forced entry court order if we didn't do exactly what she'd decided.

This, by the way, was to move out within 7 days (no idea where to) whilst boxing all our belongings, taking the girls to and from college, attend my twice weekly hospital appointments, looking after our youngest as well as normal stuff like laundry, shopping etc.

When we pointed out that this was in fact impossible, she informed us that she'd get us kicked out because the mold in the bathroom might kill us and it'd be her fault.

We mentioned that it hadn't killed us yet and we'd really just like an action plan in place that would take the kids needs into consideration.

She (again) threatened legal action before leaving. 

The following Monday, Ro is at home with Cas (our youngest for those new here) and I'm in town to pick up the girls (they are unable to travel independently so we take them to and from college daily) when I get a phone call from home, it appears that the housing officer has decided that the real reason for the locks isn't for our son's safety but because we're involved in child imprisonment so has decided to report us to the police.

Oh and just to finish off she's contacted Social Work because she has 'concerns' over Cassidy's (Autistic) behavior and feels that he has mental health issues.
The police turned up at the house unannounced (obviously) which meant Ro thought the girls and myself had been in an accident only to be told that they'd had concerns regarding child welfare.

Luckily one of the officers actually had an Autistic child (who even luckier was also a flight risk) and not only understood right away that he wasn't in any danger but after chatting with Rhona told us that she had also dealt with housing re: moving for repairs - informing us that in certain cases these can be carried out without the child/children moving.

As soon as they'd left we had a call from Social Work who basically told us that they'd never had any issues flagged but would ring back in the next few days to catch up.
After a quick call to the housing officer regarding this she was adamant that she hadn't contacted anyone with any concerns. 

The next day comes around and the housing officer has turned up again - as an aside we'd asked (nicely) if she could call first as having random people turn up unannounced can actually be incredibly stressful to Autistic people - and this time she turned up with a hotel booking.

For a month.

Starting the next day.

It seemed she'd booked myself, Cassidy, Roa and our daughter Embeth into a hotel for the entire of March.

But not it appeared her twin sister Amelia, who obviously could just stay at home herself.
She'd decided that we could take the girls to college (from the hotel), come back to the house and pack - or something, then go pick the girls up (and go back to the hotel) and then, well I'm actually not sure what the logic behind her decision was and why she'd missed a child off the booking even though we'd already mentioned that a hotel wouldn't be suitable for a variety of reasons including:

Cassidy can escape from hotels (I spent a week in Spain on a school trip with him, trust me I know).

All three children have a limited diet so wouldn't be able to eat.

We'd be in rooms with them at night which means that Cassidy's new routine would then be sleeping in with me as opposed to his own bed - an issue we had when we first moved that took over 5 years to sort.

Whilst attempting to process this new information we had our return call from Social Work where we discovered that it was indeed the housing officer who had raised the concerns with them and it appeared that when she didn't get the answer she wanted had then escalated it to the police and had been back in touch with them that very day to see - as Social Work put it - if they could 'persuade' us to do what she was suggesting.
Luckily Social Worker agreed with me that her behavior so far was in breach of not just the Equality Act but also the Disability Rights Act and that if she continued on this path there could be serious legal ramifications and would point this out to her next time they spoke.

Obviously they hadn't had the opportunity to do this before she rang back about the hotel, insisting to Ro that I'd said it was OK (another lie) and arguing that it was already paid for and couldn't be reimbursed (yet more lies, we actually had the booking info in front of us stating that you could cancel the booking before noon on the day) which meant she was only left with her favourite threat of forced entry and court orders adding that she was 'bending over backwards' and no housing officer would do more to accommodate us before putting the phone down.

It appears that the words reasonable accommodations for disability and constant bullying are interchangeable in this context.

This is pure conjecture on my part but it seemed that Social Work may have been in touch with her between this and the next call as suddenly her demeanor totally changed as she pointed out that actually we didn't need to move out at all if it was too much for Cassidy and the work could be done with us there, which was quite a change in attitude, obviously tho' she still wasn't forthcoming with any timetable or plan and flatly refused to give us the contact details of her immediate superior or plan a meeting where we could finalize the job to everyone's best interests.

Or so we thought.

The following Thursday I got a phone call from my wife say that the housing officer was coming around for (yet another) meeting and this time she was bringing a Social Worker with her.

I'll be honest, this was the final straw for me, remember this had all occurred over 6 days and the emotional effect of this meant that as soon as Ro told me about the meeting I could feel an Autistic meltdown coming on.

And for me as an adult to feel like this things must have been pretty intense.

I don't mind admitting I stood and cried, the thought of dealing with more bullying and accusations had finished me and any strength I had left was spent.

Thinking about it I'm still not sure what the most demeaning part of this was tho'.
The having to admit to 2 strangers (in an impromptu meeting) that their entire handling of the situation had led to this or the fact that neither of them seemed to understand or care, even going as far as telling me to calm down.

The icing on the cake was the fact that the housing officer - after everything she'd put us thru' so far, turning round and saying she was 'hurt and angry' by the fact that I'd presumed she had no experience of 'people with Autism'.

To be honest (again) if this is true and this is the way she treats them then I think the police were called to the wrong person.

It soon became apparent that the Social Worker had no idea why he was here and, realising that bringing (another) person into the mix wasn't the intimidation tactic she thought it would be - the housing officer suddenly changed tack, would it be easier to just do a permanent move? (we'd been suggesting this already), would it be useful if they hired us a skip to aid clearing the house? (we'd asked for this on numerous occasions) and as an apology for the stress we've been under and because the repairs had been forgotten would it be easier for them to supply new furnishings etc?

*Translation: Please don't take us to court because we've left you hanging for more than half a decade, you have clothes ruined by mold (which according to the hospital may have affected my Psoriasis) and the fact that due to our lack of care it's cost you - on average - £80 per month to do laundry for the past 2 plus years*

Well things seemed to settle after that - yes she'd still turn up unannounced and we did (after prodding from the repair team) - finally get to see the new house with the promise of it all being reading for us to start moving boxes/decorating and the furnishing ordered by the 1st April.

So you can imagine what a surprise we got on 2nd April when we received a call from housing saying that the housing officer in question has suddenly left for a new job and not done any of the handover required seemingly leaving everyone - us included - in the lurch.

So we currently have a different housing officer dealing with the situation - who we have to say has been great so far given the circumstances - and things seemed to be moving forward, the move was indeed happening.
Except we've now found out it's not.

It appears that although we'd been promised a permanent move (to a much more suitable house) we're just moving temporarily after all. 

Something that we'd stressed on numerous times would be impossible.
The house we'd been promised by the previous housing officer (that we'd been visiting the area in order to get our children used to such a huge upheaval) now seems to have been a lie and we're now left in the lurch, boxing up things that don't need boxing and with no idea what's happening which is causing even more stress and anxiety for myself and my family.

An example of the unneeded stress and lack of common sense from housing (like you'd need any more but here goes):

We need to buy our daughters a new bed as their bunkbed broke, we'd been told by the original housing officer that we were having a permanent move and that Wheatley would supply new beds etc. as compensation for the trouble caused so we've held off buying new beds until we find out what's happening, the girls have been packing their clothes etc. but using bags rather than boxes as (A. We don't have any - housing have 'forgotten' to supply them and B. Cassidy has been tearing up/emptying boxes as he is stressed and doesn't want to move). We explained this situation on the (interim) housing officers last visit.

So do you think that she:

A. Took this onboard and went "Fair enough".
Or
B. Reported it to social work?

You can probably tell that we're at the end of our tether, It's incredibly stressful for everyone involved and Wheatley just don't seem to care, becoming obsessed with a temporary move that we've never agreed to.

We've asked to meet the repair team to discuss the situation but to no avail, the complaint I submitted was answered (late) with excuses that seemed to be more about them not taking responsibility or getting sued than helping.

We have (another) meeting with them booked for a fortnight (at the office so we have to take all the kids too) and are currently looking forward to dealing with social work (again) over another non-issue.

Honestly I'm kinda done with this shite now and hoping upon hope that an advocate steps forward to help.