This is a low...

This is a tricky one to write as I'm currently running on extremely low battery due to a glut of letter writing, emails and meetings. Yes, we're kinda in a calm/low period at the moment as far as the whole housing debacle is concerned, awaiting replies from various legal sources as well as waiting on an MDT meeting and the like in order to find our next move meaning I currently feel like I'm in limbo. 

My Autistic brain - which is constantly moving and working (which detracts from the whole noisy head thing) has been dragged kicking and screaming to a halt before being pulled backwards, constantly replaying how an organisation could be so completely and so utterly incompetent (or uncaring) as to allow this whole situation to happen and, more importantly, coming to terms with how much it's affected myself and my families health.

For myself, the physical effects like the huge flare up in my Psoriasis (documented earlier this year) and the spike in my blood pressure is nothing compared to the effect Wheatley's handling of our situation has had on our mental health - and that's not even counting the Autistic meltdowns and shutdowns that have ensued since February. 

Ask any Autistic person and they'll tell you how important their own space is to them, we need somewhere that's safe and secure (and ours) in order to shield ourselves at times from the pressures and yes, even the noises and interactions, that the outside world bring. 

no imagine that space overrun by random strangers, forcing themselves into each and every room, taking endless photos and moving things whilst pointing out that actually it's not your space and they can have you removed at a moments notice.

For me I've been left not living but just existing in a place that's no longer welcoming or safe.

Or even feeling like I belong in it.

Living out of boxes with important things like my favourite books away god knows where in storage doesn't help. 

And it's been worse for our kids.

Cassidy is incredibly reliant on his routines and need for his own space so we knew any moving would be difficult.

When we were offered the original property he was really resistant to the very idea of moving (even packing was a no no) but we stuck at it, before the visit we should him photos, the routes on Google maps etc and after our first visit we would travel up by car to the area and visit the local shops with him etc....he wasn't too happy but he was open to a move, he even chose his own room and had started to attempt packing.

True he'd take everything out again but it was a start. 

So when out of the blue the house was taken from us, Cassidy now thinks that because he said he didn't want to move it will never happen, he started unboxing things and refused to go out unless we could promise we would be coming home.

Add to that the stress he was showing at anyone coming to the door (even folk he knew) because he'd been subjected to months of strangers visiting and forcing their way into his space.

Not once did anyone at Wheatley take him being Autistic into account.

Except when they called the police due to his 'concerning behaviour' obviously.

I can honestly say that attempting to get him onboard for a move now, which is going to have to happen at some point, is going to be sheer hell for him.

And us.

Even though the girls are older - with ~(ever ( so) slightly less complex needs -  the effect it's had on them is devastating.

They went from the nervous excitement of a move to limbo, unable to invite their friends around due to a seemingly unmovable skip  and having to miss college to start packing only to be told it wasn't happening.

Their last, exciting term at college tainted by Wheatley's indecision and total lack of compassion, their need for routine (and general human dignity) ignored for no good reason other than it's easier to do that than actually care.

The girls have even gone as far as having to speak to the disability health team about how it's affected them which as a parent is utterly heartbreaking to see.

And whilst dealing with all this - and everyday life stuff - we're left trying to get legal help and support whilst just wanting to be treated as human beings and maybe, just maybe enjoy a day - or two - without this shitshow looming over us.